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I don’t know what this is, or why I like it. But I do.

I don’t know what this is, or why I like it. But I do.

(Source: hideous-car-wreck)

-sasquatch:

truth.

 I wonder what I’d look like with a moustache?

-sasquatch:

truth.

 I wonder what I’d look like with a moustache?

This made me laugh, enjoy!

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.

As he does, this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.

Realising his employer won’t be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions; as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp House, he is attacked by the chimps, who pelt him with coconuts.

He swipes at two chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lions cage; because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says: “What’s the food like here?”

The lions say: “Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees.”

Ahoy! I’ve been having SUCH a giggle with one of our designers at work. I don’t quite remember how we got on to the topic of pirates…(I am a pirate FYI)…BUT he found me this amazing website! You should visit.

holy-moly:

Cat talk.

My parents' email conversation this morning...

  • Mum: (Who is off work for the summer hols) Don't you just love it when after cleaning and hoovering, your husband puts on his muddy boots and walks in the bedroom, bathroom, landing and down the stairs and leaves a trail behind him!!! Guess who will spend the afternoon hoovering?
  • Dad: (At work) It wasn't me it was Milo & Juno!! (Two Jack Russells) They ran upstairs while you were dozing, jumped into a shoe each and had a shoe race (like a sack race) about the house before I caught them and told them off. I said to them: "Pick up all the grass." But they just turned round to me and said: "Bothered," and went back in their box as if nothing had happened. I am surprised they didn't wake you up with the noise they made!!
fuckyeahtwilight:

(via chuppaxchups, adumbhooker, savedbygrace)
gabulous:

FOR TARA

 This made me giggle.

gabulous:

FOR TARA

 This made me giggle.

watchmeburnn:

fuckyeahgreatshit:

ellaincoherente:

(via relativemisanthropy, reservationatdorsia)


 LOL

Day Ten - A photo of you taken over a decade ago.

Yep this is me. I’m not sure how old I am in these pictures, but I would hazard a guess at seven or eight. I’m a big girl now.

What do you think? Have I changed?

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